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Thursday, February 20, 2014

The Recession and The Family

During any recession, unemployment figures take center stage while the families dealing with the recession suffer, often quietly. While many families like mine do their best to carry on as if nothing is wrong with the world, still recessions can have a profound effect on their day-to-day interactions and the way they live.

It all started in the year 2008 when the global economic scenario took a plunge. Though India wasn’t hit that severely by this global economic crunch as compared to the western countries; still the inception days certainly were clear indications of a darker outcome as the current situation is. Indian economy has taken a toll and the price of Dollar has gone very high against Rupees.

In 2008, I was in the final year of my Management Program at a B-School. The placements were around the corner and the biggest worries for us graduates were to find a job and start earning for ourselves and our families. A graduation from a B-school certainly means investing hugely on the education and my family had taken a loan for the same. So the pressure to get in a job and start earning was great. I was interested getting into the advertising industry which happened to be one of the most severely affected industries due to the recession. Since the companies were low on budgets the best way to stop spending was cutting off on all sorts of communications drastically.

I wanted to follow my passion and was waiting for the situation to get better. My family supported me throughout. Still there were instances when the patience was lost on both sides. My younger brother too was in a B-school and his educational expenses were also met on loans just like mine. The pressure on my parents was tremendous. There were times when we were discussing as to how we cut on the homely and individual expenses. Sending money for me and my brother’s monthly personal expenses and managing their own along with accumulating the money for payback was certainly not easy for my Dad who was the lone earning member of the family. I am sure there might have been dialogues between my parents that both of us brother’s don’t even know.

We were talking less on the phone. I personally was avoiding going out with friends. We never planned a trip. My parents were not visiting us that often. And there might be many other things about my parents that we brothers can't even assume. All of it just to save money.

It took 6 months for me to get into a job. It wasn’t what I was looking for, but relatively close. Also the paycheck wasn’t what I was expecting but I had to succumb to situations that the recession brought with it. During these 6 months there were instances when my parents would question my initiatives and my intentions. They felt I was irresponsible towards the family and many a times we had heated arguments. I understand now that it must have been quite difficult for them as they generally are the coolest people I have ever met.

After I got into the job and started supporting the family things started getting better. Eventually my younger brother got into a job as well and now we could afford to loosen up a bit. We cleared all our debts gradually and things returned to normal. I eventually got myself into advertising and am earning a decent amount every month just like my brother does. Things are in a much better shape.

But we still remember the times when my parents and we brothers compromised on our very basic requirements. We compromised on our eating habits, our clothes and times when I and my brother even lived with our relatives to avoid expenditures. The frustration in me of not being an earning member in the family, the psychological ups and downs that my father had to go through to meet the family needs, the struggles that my mother took as the binding factor amongst the family members and the helplessness that my brother might have felt being the youngest in the family taught all of us one very important thing. Sticking together always! Whatever the conditions were we took decisions that might not be likable but were good in the family’s interest.

The recession effects are still on. India is on an all-time low of its economic status. Things are costly and jobs are limited. Yet after clearing off all our debts and gaining stability on our professional fronts due to the education that came to us at huge costs (money wise and mentally), ours is a family that is doing good in the given situations.

Friday, February 14, 2014

better not happy

there's a pain like you are at the bottom of a dark sea
and the millions of gallons of the water just feel to heavy
you dont feel it anywhere except your heart
and you continue living with it for eternity

time doesn't cure anything
just that it teaches how to live with the ailment
you adjust with that pain and start existing

a day you realize the cure
its there for you
the pain is no more
how light you're now, you're amazed
i hv been missing onto life, u realize
i am not gonna miss this chance now
i got to live, i got to live

you are happiest you've ever been
you start putting in whatever you've got
you want this to stay
you listen,  you wait, you run
you learn, you create, you think
you are always at disposal, on your feet
you belong, you dedicate all
you ignore, you leave, you don't sleep
you fail, you try, you accomplish
you are happy

you have been wanting this and you get it
you leave no stones unturned
you are now selfish, you are now blind
you have everything but you have no one
you are so much there, always, all  time
you are now boaring, not exciting
You are now saying millions of sorries
you are now spending all your emotions
you long for a talk and a walk and the time
you are now just someone, taken granted
you are being replaced may be
you are still happy

you are ignored, you are lied to
you are awake and life's fake
you you are waiting, that was supposed to your moment
you wonder, from hours to minutes is what you've come to
you are asked to shut up, you're now all fucked up
you are now disgusting, someone else is the hero
you don't deserve life, you are now useless
you see life's not interested in you, she's got better
you doubt, you don't trust
you cry, you shout, you are angry
you are pleading
you are praying
you are....

what? sinking again?
that black water? millions of gallons of them
that pain?
it was for eternity I said
how could you expect it to end
but this time the water is denser
the pain is much viscous
the mind is much more restless
for worse your hands are tied
energy all consumed
you just sink with the pain
you are now worse than the dead
you give up

you are happy?
you wished you never were...

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