Paa

I see u walking carry my ashes

Walking in circles around me

We are already far away

You know everyone is crying

But you can't

You won't right now

You won't ever

You can't 

You are a man

You are not supposed to

Tears will anyway run down your eyes

When you will touch my uniform

When you will watch mother hug my picture

When you remember me squatting towards you

The moment my brother puts his hands on your shoulder

The moment my sister cries on her next rakhi

The time you go through old albums

Being you really is hard

When will you find that time to remorse?

When will you cry for me?

Why does it have to be hardest on you?

All in me was your reflection;

All you taught

All those stories of patriots

All of what you wanted me to be

I will not be back next Diwali

I won't ask mom what you are doing on the next call

I won't have the chance to touch your feet again

I hugged mom a thousand times

I hugged my brothers and sisters

I hugged the girl I loved

But why didn't I hug you?

Why didn't I know that you wouldn't cry for me?

Why didn't I know that your world stops with me?

Why couldn't I know you had dreams of me?

Dreams that would wake you up

Why did you never ask me to stop when I was going?

Why did you never tell me that you were afraid?

Why did you have to be so hard on yourself?

Why can't it be convenient for you to cry for me?

That time when you held my hands to teach me walk

Handled my fingers in yours to teach me write

Running with me in your arms when I broke my leg

Standing and singing out of the washroom;

I was afraid so much.

My first day day in school when I felt the same as you did.

I know you did cry

Exactly as you want to today

Hiding your tears

I hope I can comfort you today

I wish I could hug you

But why do you have to be so strong?

Why are you always the strongest man I know?

Why can I not be as frank to you as I am with Maa?

Why can you not be the one I can boast my actions to?

One second is what it took you to accept me no more

That moment I saw you turn into a rock

One second is what it took you to gather your earth

May be I am no more

May be Maa receives that medal on my behalf

But its you who is the real hero

It always was you who was fighting the war

I wish I was alive

I wish I could be as strong as you

I wish I could raise my son as well as you did yours

I wish I could be as strong as you Dad.